Funny Insults Done By People

For a price you can have anyone in the audience insulted. The better the $$ the better the insult!

* Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
* Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
* I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
* You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
* Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
* Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
* Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
* Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
* You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
* All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
* I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't
* count that high.
* You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
* He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
* Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
* If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
* You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
* You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
* I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
* Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special
* effort today?
* Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
* Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse
* advice...
* I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at
* Cucumber college.
* Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet
* somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
* I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
* Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
* You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
* I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of
* shock.
* Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
* I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'